OA&FS Annual Report

So a couple weeks ago, our adoption agency sent out their annual report. Being the numbers geeks that we are, Brian and I pored over all the updated statistics they sent. Nothing major has changed, but I thought it was a good opportunity to talk about what some of these items mean for us.

The updated average number of placements per year is now 41. (I'm not sure how far back that average goes, or if it just means there were 41 placements last year.) At the time I'm writing this, there are 97 families waiting in the pool. You don't need complicated math to see that there are a lot more folks waiting for placements than there are placements happening! At the same time, those numbers are fairly consistent with what they've been over the past few years, so there's not much of a surprise there.

At the same time, the average wait time between entering the pool and placement is down slightly to 14 months. So at least that metric's moving in a good direction! There seems to be a bit of a fluctuation with this one over the past few years, though. When we first starting working with OA&FS a few years ago, it was 10 to 12 months; it increased a lot the following year, and now it's back down again. It'll be interesting to see how this continues to change.

I was surprised to see that 23% of placements are last minute, meaning that adoption planning begins at or after birth. By comparison, a few years ago this number was at 7%. When we adopted Dominic, we had the benefit of about seven weeks' notice to get everything ready. But while we've always known it's a possibility that our next placement might have less time for preparation, this drives home how common it's becoming!

It was nice to see this report and get a chance to mull over some numbers, since that's how Brian and I tend to process a lot of this. We've been waiting for about four months now, and while that's a lot less time (so far) than most people wait, it's already almost double what we waiting before Dominic arrived! Who knows when a placement will happen, but I'm enjoying finding ways like this to stay engaged with the waiting process.

Day 101

Time for another check in on the blog!  Continuing the trend I've been on in previous posts by tracking the total days in the pool, I'm actually enjoying being a dork and tracking our wait in measurable numbers.  Seeing the numbers add up make me feel a little validated.  The way my mind works, when I undertake something big, I like to see continual progress rather than listless stagnation.

Of course, my mind knows that each day that passes also brings us closer to having two kids in the house.  At times, parenting one child is a handful!  Parenting two will be daunting at times.  I still remember when Dominic first came home with us and we became hermits for a few months.  With some luck, this won't happen to us after our second placement:

As another way of passing the time which both makes the possibility of a second child both more real and front-of-mind is that we're continuing to educate Dominic about how he will be a big brother some day.  He still doesn't understand the concept quite yet, but he is now frequently pointing out babies when he sees them out in public.  He also happily points out every "bus" too, but we're making progress!

Waiting Pool Stat Update

We were out of town for an awesome wedding at the start of the month and missed the usual waiting pool stat update.  Pending a more involved update in the future, here are a couple of highlights for the moment:

• Total Families - 96 (100 in Aug)
• 14 new families in the pool since we entered on June 5th (14.5% of the total pool)

79 Days - Entering New Territory!

Today, August 22nd, marks a special occasion for our time in the waiting pool.  Our first time around in the waiting pool lasted a shockingly short 2 1/2 months -- or more precisely, 79 days.  We still feel very lucky to have been picked by such a wonderful birthmother so quickly and to now have such a great little boy in our family.

This time around, we're gearing ourselves up for what matches up to a more "typical" stay in the waiting pool.  That effort to develop a mindset of moderately optimistic realism is validated today as we have now officially been waiting 79 days.

Looking ahead, this means that we actually have to be proactive about mentally managing our wait in the pool.  One thing we have on our side is Dominic's endless supply of energy!  He's always moving, excited to explore new things, and read new books which certainly keeps us busy as well!

Leaning against a tree at the park

Occupying 3rd base

Taking a break with Papa on a walk

In addition to all of our regular activities with Dominic, we recently got in a visit with Dominic's birth mother, Carly.  We all had a great time hanging out together playing at a combo playground-sprayground.  Dominic loved the water, play structures....and the mulch.  To recharge after all that playing, we all made an impromptu (and tasty) stop by a Dairy Queen for blizzards.  I'm really glad that Dominic enjoys seeing Carly and that we all have fun during these trips.  It is even better now that Dominic is eagerly saying names these days and can easily say "Carly" before he runs and gives her a hug.

Dominic showing his birthmom Carly how to play with mulch!

For us as the adoptive parents, we have the regular need that typical parents have for personal time on top of the background need to manage our wait in the pool.  Besides taking care of Dominic, life at work, and things around the house, we're really trying to focus on things that keep us active and happy.

Andy recently gave me the thumbs up to go get a kayak.  It's something I've talked about doing for years and finally did!  So far, I've been out on the water twice, and it's amazing.  The ability to be out in the kayak free from responsibilities and meeting the needs of others is refreshing.  It also makes for a good workout too!

The view from my kayak on Lake Washington

So... we're now 79 days in with potentially many more to go?  Who knows!  We won't know how many days are left until we get the call.  It could be today or it could be a ways down the road.

Just for fun, the earliest prediction from our prediction post was November 12, 2014 (Elise).  While today is #79 in the pool, Nov 12th is day #161.  Strange to realize that we're only at the halfway point to the earliest prediction!

A lot can happen in life over 79 days.  With our next semi-milestone in 82 days, there will likely be plenty more things that mark the passage of time.  While I know I will still continue to keep one eye on the waiting pool and our ever increasing time in the pool, we already have a wedding to celebrate, Halloween outfits to prep, and a 2nd birthday to plan for.  Whether we're consciously trying to make it happen or not, our life is helping us manage the wait.

Managing the Wait + August Stats

When you're expecting to wait days, weeks, months, or even years for a single call, how tough is it to manage the wait?  For us, we have already waited 56 days.  Two months have gone by pretty fast, and it's strange to realize that over 50 days have gone by already.  Of course, there are occasional reminders that bring the wait to the forefront with thoughts like:

"I don't want to go to work today... it would be awesome if we got the call!"

Some of the thoughts like this are silly and make me smile.  Other times I catch myself dwelling on it more than I should.  Especially because dwelling on it won't change anything.  Time is starting to add up for us, but we have still waited a relatively short time.  Managing the wait is a huge topic for adoptive families.  It's one that our agency really focuses on as for many families, it can be tough to wait day after day for any sort of news about being selected.  Eventually, most families are picked.  It just takes time.


August Statistics
It's been relatively quiet in the pool.  The total number of families is the same and only 2 new families entered the waiting pool with 3 leaving and 1 returning.

Since we entered the waiting pool on June 5th, 9 other families have joined.

Looking back from today to January, 32 families have entered the pool since the start of the year and none of them have left the pool.  In total, that's a minimum wait of 7 months.  While this doesn't mean we're automatically going to wait 7 months, it does provide some perspective as to how we should be managing our wait.

25 Days & Counting

Ok, we're technically not counting, but it makes for a good title!

Amazingly, it has only been 25 days since we entered the waiting pool.  June has been a really busy month for us, so it's seemed like we've been in the pool much longer.  We aren't getting anxious, but it was a good reality check when I added up the days!

One question we've gotten a few times has been if we've had any screening calls.  Andy may post more on this later, but we have gotten 1 screening call so far.  It was a fun surprise when we got it the day after entering the pool!  I remember last time around when each screening call (really it's a screening email) would give us an immediate adrenaline rush, cause us to drop everything, run around in circles, and do some research.  This time around, I felt like a pro since we took our time and then gave our answer.  We can both already tell that this will be a more relaxed time in the pool as we have bigger fish to fry between work, taking care of Dominic, and our large array of other activities.

Is anything else new?  Of course!  We never really sit still.  The blog has been pretty active.  Earlier this month we posted a prediction pool on some fun baby possibilities and then put up a summary post over the weekend.  Earlier tonight, I posted the latest Waiting Pool stats which show that the waiting pool is up to 100 families for the first time this year.

Since we have plenty of time left to go until we're picked (November at the earliest by the predictions), we'll have lots of other fun posts to put up and things to share.  If you have any requests or topics to suggest, feel free to post them in the comments!