Thursday, November 1, 2012

Adoption Planning II

It's been a little while since we've made some posts, but expect to see some updates over the next few days.  Today's update is all about Adoption Planning II. 
  • Information Meeting
  • Pre-Adoption Seminar
  • Homestudy
  • Waiting Pool 
  • Chosen by Birthfamily
  • Adoption Planning I
  • Adoption Planning II
  • Placement
If you remember our update about Adoption Planning I, that was essentially a 'getting to know each other' meeting.  After that went well, we kept moving forward.  Between that meeting and Adoption Planning II, we met with the potential birthmother several times and also got to meet her nearly 4 year old son (who is adorable!).

Adoption Planning II took place on Monday, October 29th and was a much more in-depth meeting.  Similar to Adoption Planning I, there were four of us there which included Andy, myself, the expectant birthmother, and the OA&FS counselor (Courtney).  The purpose was to handle a lot of the heavier details about open adoption.  Following a solid 2 1/2 hours together at an Olive Garden doing some heavy thinking, we were done.  It was sort of draining after a long day at work, but it was definitely important!  Here are some of the highlights:

Open Adoption Agreement
We all agreed to some yearly minimums with at least 2 in-person visits, 4 exchanges of pictures with 10+ pictures for each exchange.  These were all minimums, so I can easily see us doing much more with Facebook being a great tool to share all the latest updates and pictures.

Additionally, we talked about sharing information and what everyone was comfortable with.  Before now, we've left off the expectant birthmother's name in all of our posts to respect her privacy.  However, she gave us permission to use her name, so we can stop referring to her as just 'C' or 'birthmother.'  Our really awesome and fun birthmother's name is Carly  :)

Adoption Birth Plan (In-Hospital)
Before this meeting, Carly and Courtney discussed how Carly would like everything to go in the hospital.  This is a great example of how OA&FS is a really good agency.  Prior to the birth, they prepare everyone involved (the birthfamily, the adoptive parents, and the hospital staff).

As the adoptive parents, we really see our role as a supportive one.  The birth of any baby is a momentous occasion.  That day is (and should) be all about Carly.  For us and other adoptive parents, our role is, really, just to show up.  (Hooray for us!)

So for those that want to know the tentative plan, Carly has a C-section scheduled for 10:00am on Monday, November 12th.  Following the C-section, Carly will need some time for recovery and then spend some time to herself with the baby.  When she is ready, she will contact us and we will come to see her and the baby.  After some time together, Andy and I will begin to handle the majority of the baby's care such as changing diapers, feeding, holding, etc.  Again, this is just a tentative plan.  On such a big day, we're expecting timelines and plans to adapt to ensure that everyone is comfortable with how things are going.

This pretty much summarizes our Adoption Planning II meeting!  It was our last group meeting with us, Carly, and Courtney.  We plan on seeing Carly at least one more time before the 12th, but this was the last official OA&FS meeting before the birth.  Keep an eye out for some more updates about our recent painting adventures for the mini-nursery and our upcoming baby shower!


  1. Wow guys, thanks for sharing. I am crying as I read this... such a momentous occasion indeed. I'm glad you have such a great relationship with Carly so far, and that you're mutually being so kind and respectful of one another's needs. I have no doubt that the emotions on November 12th will be high, for all involved parties. 2 weeks!! Wow.

  2. Brian and Andy, I just want to echo Elise's comments completely. I can hardly believe this fantastic, life-changing event is about to occur, and lil' dude is about to enter your lives. What a gift Carly is about to give to you. You all are so blessed. My prayers are with you. 10 days and counting...
    Grandma Mel

  3. I agree! I read the date November 12th and totally said WOOHOO out loud;)

  4. God bless all of you! I sounds as if this little one will have no shortage of love. I can't think of a better way to start out inlife. Love to all.

  5. Very excited for you soon to be Dad's