Thursday, November 15, 2012

Home & Open Adoption

Just a brief update here to cover the past couple of days since our last post.  We've been home with Dominic for about 8 hours now.  After an evening full of Skype calls and visitors, I'm looking forward to our first night with Dominic.  Whether we sleep or not, I really appreciate that he will be here with us.  The past two days have been eventful, joyous, and traumatic.

After spending an extra day around the hospital in Tacoma, I think we've become even stronger proponents of open adoption.  As a group with myself, Andy, Carly, and Dominic, we were lucky to spend so much time together during Dominic's first two days.  There were so many firsts that we were all there to experience.  Whether it was his first diaper change or his first bath when he opened his beautiful eyes, I know that it was important for all of us to be together.  With an open adoption, all of us are now family for each other.

Andy and I really care for Carly because she is truly a wonderful person.  After Carly chose us to be the adoptive parents for her baby, we have gotten to know more about each other than some of our closest friends may know each of us.  Of course, that also made today extremely difficult.  We knew it would be tough for Carly when it came time to entrust little Jackson William (now Dominic Jackson) into our care.  However, just sitting here writing this is extremely difficult for me as I vividly remember how emotional that actually was.  I can honestly say that nothing I've experienced has ever been so heart wrenching in my life.

As I said, I'm an even stronger proponent of open adoption after today.  In closed adoptions, today would never have happened.  The adoptive parents in a closed adoption would never have met the birthmother or been given the chance to see the extent of love for the baby from the friends and family of the birthparents and even from the birthmother herself.  Instead, open adoptions provide the opportunity for everyone to stay involved and for babies like Dominic to receive love and attention from everyone that cares about him.  With open adoption, saying 'goodbye' at the hospital wasn't saying goodbye was merely saying goodbye for today and knowing that today's goodbye would become tomorrow's 'hello'.


  1. What a loving description. Dominic is one lucky boy. Carly is one strong woman. You both will be... no, ARE not only wonderful dads, but examples to us all.
    Mom/Mel/Grandma Mel

  2. I couldn't agree more with Mel. My heart goes out to all of you; you are an amazing group of people. What great fortune to have one another in your lives (and what great fortune for me to have you in mine). Much love from Ohio!

  3. You are all trailblazers of sorts in so many ways. In Dominic's first three days of life, you all showed such love, courage and responsibility to and for him. You each set the stage for him to grow freely and thrive. His unique story and life have begun so well, because of you three wonderful individuals and parents. Good luck and have fun!
    Love, Poppa Mark

  4. Congratulations to both of you! And thanks for articulating so clearly the advantages of open adoption. I have a (birth)niece who was openly-adopted 14 years ago, and I think it's so cool that my brother is still a part of her life and that all of us have been able to see her grow up into smart, funny young lady. Dominic is one lucky little dude to have you all in his life.

  5. It blows my mind that people can give up a child for adoption not because they are giving up a child, but because they know that child can have a life with someone else that they can't provide in their home. To be so selfless is amazing. What Carly did must have been extremely hard - harder than I can imagine. But I'm sure getting to know you and having that relationship cushions the blow to the heart and helps her know that she is making a good decision for the baby. I'm sure in time everyone all the positive emotions will greatly outweigh any of the stress and doubt of these first few days.